Miracles happen in perspective shift

I don’t really know how I ever became so angry. I’m not sure how anger became my default emotion. Everything always seemed to just irritate me. I found every reason for everything to make me want to blame.

I especially had a lot of anger towards my parents, and I took every opportunity to blame them for my shortcomings. They weren’t good enough. They weren’t intelligent enough. I was better than them. Their goals and ambitions seemed non-existent to me. I fought them on everything about them, especially on who they were. I needed relief from them. I needed saving.

This was all just a few years ago, not long ago at all. I feel totally different now. Yes, about them too.

I was given a second chance at being their daughter. I experienced a tragedy, and I needed a safe space to heal. I needed stability. I went home to them.

In the beginning I took a lot out on them. I was angry at my trauma and situation, and I screamed at them a lot. All the while I kept thinking I had to get out of that horrible place. I tried so hard. I took shit jobs and I tried to get back to my old ways. But that was harder than I thought it could be, and it surprised me. The anger turned, and I began putting everything on myself. I questioned What is wrong with you? Why can’t you … ? I was somehow at fault for everything, and I didn’t like it.

I believe everyone is responsible for their actions, so I pointed my finger at me. I started looking for the why behind everything I went through, and what was happening, and why I was where I was in life. This certainly wasn’t part of my plan. Without realizing it I slipped into a stage of transformational healing.

The slip forced me to slow down and choose to be still. What do you want? YOU have to make it happen.

I always wanted a mother, someone who took me in her arms and made me feel safe. My mom isn’t the cuddly type, she’s more of a tough love kinda mom. I had to learn to take care of myself in many ways from a very young age, which is probably how I adopted my responsibility and accountability belief. Ours wasn’t the type of household where we talked about our feelings, or what we were going through, it was more like we all just co-existed under one roof – each man for themselves. I never felt a sense of family. I didn’t understand what other people experienced in family. It’s probably safe to say now this is why I felt angry.

I really wanted a mom. I really needed a mom. And she was right down stairs and I didn’t feel comfortable going to her. Only this time instead of anger, I softened, and I cried instead.

I decided to hermit myself in my room. I decided we were going to just be cordial. I was in the house with them, and that was all I had at the time. My interactions were were short and brief, to the point.

I desperately wanted to feel like the person I knew I am inside, and I longed to feel happy. On no one day in particular, I started to engage with them. I had to try, practice even, and now I know what I was doing was teaching myself how to feel joy in small bursts. I didn’t realize it was joy at first, but the pleasure I was experiencing felt good. It wasn’t so bad after all. They seemed to open up a bit more, too.

I was carrying such a heavy energy that it consumed the whole house. I was the reason everyone and everything was so tense and felt nasty – Me! Am I for real that powerful? And once I shifted, they shifted too. This realization alone was a real eye opener. So I began to examine where my power lies, and what else I do with it.

Knowledge is Power and Everything is Energy. I studied this closely. Instead of believing all the opinions from others and thinking my parents were the worst in the world, I decided to find out for myself. I sat with them, did activities with them, and I observed. Not just them, but all of it. The whole of everything. The dynamic, who else, where else, why. And you know what? My parents are awesome people. I was only seeing them for who they are for the first time.

I could have thrown myself into guilt and shame, and taken on behaviors that tried to fix us. But instead I decided to wipe the slate clean and start from where we were. Instead of apologizing, I thanked them. I told them what we just did together felt awesome, that I liked it, and would like to do it again. I started to do things for them. I surprised them with gifts (tangible and sentimental) in appreciation. I celebrated them.

And I still do to this day. Now, we have great relationships. We enjoy each other. I feel like I’m part of a great family. And I let them know it.

As I found happiness and joy in life, I began focusing my next want on love. A few months later Ken came into my life.

… to be continued.

Lisa Karasek is a Quantum Healer and Intuitive Practitioner able to powerfully transform your state of being by guiding you to a healthier, happier, and more purposeful life using ancient, multi-dimentional healing modalities, angelic energies, and consciousness based practices. Lisa is passionate and dedicated to helping you work with the dynamics of your Authentic Self Relationship.

How shapeshifting equals love

stock image credit: Unsplash

Until about 3-4ish years ago I was thin. The kind of thin everyone envied and commented on. I was fit, I worked to keep my muscles lean and defined. I had small breasts so there wasn’t a real need for a bra. I was always comfortable in my body, and my clothes. I was a dancer growing up so I spent a lot of time in a dressing room, and it’s how I learned to be body conscious. My body was my temple. And I guess good genes afforded me the freedom to not have to worry. I didn’t have to work hard at being thin, I didn’t have to work at it at all, actually.

“Just wait and see, one day it will all catch up to you” everyone said. But I wasn’t worried. All I needed was a quick glance at the mirror and I knew I was good.

Now, I look down, and I observe closely – I have no choice but to see the thickness that I have become. My always a size 4-6 is now a size 14, at least. I am no longer flat, but round. I fill my clothes, especially my pants, and everything fits uncomfortably tight. I need a bra. I can hold my breasts and make them jiggle. The ONLY way I feel comfortable is in sweats and a baggy, loose top.

I met Ken while my body was shapeshifting; Urgh why couldn’t he have met me when I was hot, and when I felt sexy? Last year we drove across the country and that seemed to give my fat the green light to do as it pleased. When I stand in front of the mirror now and look at myself I turn side to side, and I look at everything. Even if I suck in, the girth of my waist is bigger than I ever imagined I would ever possibly be. I count the rolls in my sides. I feel my fullness in the tub. I lay down naked and I think about what he sees.

He never met the skinny me, so he accepts my body unconditionally. I want to see my body as he sees it. I try to soften in my judgements as I touch and study the new me. I remind myself what I went through, and that subconsciously I was trying to be invisible. I didn’t like my world then.

As I expand and grow, my body is too. There’s more for me to love. There’s more of me to want, and hold on to. All I have to do is agree. I’m learning to love me.

I am a certified eating psychology coach, helping people in their struggles with food and eating, and body image.

Lisa Karasek is a Quantum Healer and Intuitive Practitioner able to powerfully transform your state of being by guiding you to a healthier, happier, and more purposeful life using ancient, multi-dimentional healing modalities, angelic energies, and consciousness based practices. Lisa is passionate and dedicated to helping you work with the dynamics of your Authentic Self Relationship.

What’s Next?

I haven’t published anything big in a while. Recently I’ve been asking myself why.

I get it. This past year I have dealt with many adjustments. I met someone, and we embarked on a trip of a lifetime. Wound up completely upending and changing my life.

As I’m settling in my new home and space, I’m very anxious to get back to writing and publishing, and I’ve been struggling with it.

It just so happened that last week my writing coach from back home set up an online gig. She hasn’t offered anything by way of her coaching this past year because she’s had a lot of big and important changes happen in her life too. She lifted her students up to a new level, and now she’s ready to share the next steps. She’s getting back to us.

As per her usual, she guided us through a few writing exercises, and by the end of the hour it dawned on me why I haven’t been into my own writing. I’m changed!

Before, I was writing about my life changing experience, and how I was working so hard to heal. I wrote about healing wounds to feel the joy in life because that’s what I needed.

There’s something to be said for writing from the place of pain, about tapping into your emotional bucket and giving it a voice. I wrote from that bucket a lot, and I was able to release a lot of energy around it all through my writing.

For so long I lived in my heaviness.

The drive across the country, the break, was exactly what I needed to shift my energy. But it wasn’t until last week in that meeting that I realized my shift is complete. I no longer have to write about my tragedy. I am no longer a victim. I am a changed person.

I’m trying to get back into writing. I’m knocking out posts that are just bursts, bursts of information I want to share, and to be present. A few times I’ve jumped on Facebook and said “I’m ready.” “I’m going to write. Stay tuned.” “I’m coming.” Bless your hearts you’re tuning in. But I still havent been producing much, or anything that I feel is great or has transformational value.

What’s my next step?

I do know that I know how to tap into, draw in, and write a good story from my feelings. Now I get to do it from my new perspective. The life Ken & I are creating is so full of love and happiness, comfort, and peace. As I build my love, and create great moments, I will again write and share from my feelings.

Thank You for hanging in with me. I appreciate you.

Love Yourself – What it means to raise your vibration

February is the month of love. As the adage says: to know how to love another you must first know to love yourself.

Every Tuesday in 2021 I am bringing you great experiences. Today, I share a video with you, a conversation between my friend Gretchen and myself as we talk about what it means to Love, and what it means to raise your vibration. Please check out this video, and be sure to join me next Tuesday for my virtual group healing event. To attend, please email me to register and receive a link.


Lisa Karasek, 3 time best selling author. An expert Quantum Healer, TRE® Certified Facilitator and Certified Eating Psychology Coach. Lisa is able to update her client’s states of being to assist in healing using ancient, multi-dimensional healing and Holistic Metamorphosis® (an angelic energy healing modality), consciousness-based practices, and TRE® (tension and trauma releasing exercises). Lisa powerfully guides her clients to a healthier, happier, and more purposeful life. Lisa Karasek is dedicated and passionate about helping you work with the dynamics of your self relationship and believes this is the key to most Mind Body Spirit disease and illness.

February: Love Yourself. What it means to raise your vibration

http://www.GilaNehemia.com

Gila and I became quick friends a few years back when we met through writing and healing. She instantly soothed me with her confidence, and inspired me to become more. 

I’ve lived through some trauma, and sexual wounding is a big part of my work – personally and with clients. 

I’m always pushing others to find their, live their, and be in their authentic selves. And the best way to achieve that is to face and release the uncomfortable parts. Gila agrees.