The reality of stepping into new dynamics of Love and Happiness

Have you ever heard about a couple that married after only knowing each other a week or two? What’s your opinion on arranged marriages? I always thought they were crazy. How could someone know that fast? What’s the divorce rate on those demographics?

I didn’t feel free – that’s why I thought those relationship types were bonkers. I wasn’t in control, and in my own ways about my life I was figuring out how to be. I’ve lived a lot of situations and circumstances where that particular battle was tested over and over again. I remember my one consistent thought for myself was the longing to know what free felt like. Free to BE Me.

Some of you know my story of abuse and having a stalker. The phrase “I was hunted in the streets” was the one I used the most when telling my story, and I wrote that phrase in my chapter in the book Find Your Voice Save Your Life. Being hunted certainly doesn’t provide all the warm and fuzzies of mental freedom, and the emotional anguish with what you live in certainly doesn’t feel all that amazing either. No wonder I had opinions and judgements around relationships. Notice I’m saying had.

I knew if I were to find a partner I would need to be able to trust him. He wouldn’t be the type to want to try to take me away from who I am, or seperate me from my people. And he would need to be able to support me no matter what. I absolutely did not think finding that person was possible. I had such a low expectation of men that I resolved to be alone for the rest of my life. And I had such a lowered sense of self worth that I had decided that free was something I could possibly never know. I dropped all expectations for happiness from men, and dissolved all of my dreams for finding one.

After feeling more stable in my decision, and making true effort of committed joy for my life because I respect myself and love myself unconditionally, not only did I find my worth, I met my man. Through Divine channels that really don’t make any logical sense at all except to those who understand the ways of the universe and what the true meaning Trust holds – Ken and I somehow found each other.

After knowing each other roughly two weeks we lept into a journey that both took us across the country, and into each others arms forever. We traveled the initial physical distance in a small hybrid car, with just a few bags of clothes and toiletries – compacted in every sense of the word. We learned about each other in the most outstanding way!

When we left we had every intention of returning home to the east coast, but we came into Utah and we felt ready to stay still for a bit; falling in love on so many levels and in so many ways. We secured an apartment and started moving in our new direction. There was a lot of work to jump into immediately – finding work, building a new for us home, buying some basics, having things shipped from home. Again, we learned a lot about each other in a very short period of time. We each learned a lot about our true needs and wants on a whole new level. We did a great job.

As these hustles and bustles settled down some and we were gaining traction in our new realities and dynamics we both started to notice things – about each other, and our ways, and I guess you can say things stirred up. We started fighting. Some really heavy and complex shit came up. For both of us our emotions were in overload, and we began questioning what to do. It was only a few months of living together.

Ken and I have consciously committed to each other, and we will get through. We both want a partner who raises us up, who can be available and provide the support needed to grow and develop. And we already know that when we’re good, we’re good. We’ve got this. So why the fights?

Individually we reached out for help, allowing us to speak for ourselves and receive what we needed from our peers and mentors. We also enlisted the help of professionals who provided energy healing and counseling. We both had a lot of emotionally charged energies that were stored in us and needed to be released. We both had emotional and relationship cords that were ready to be cleared. Upgrades to our mindsets needed to occur, so the garbage had to be taken out. Some of the things we learned is that both of us had environments and relationship teachers growing up that haven’t served us. Our role models didn’t have their own freedoms in a sense, and were deeply wounded emotionally. They modeled to us what toxicity looks and feels like. Now, with Ken and I each facing our dream relationship, we had to learn what energies belonged to us, and which didn’t. We began a new quest, or process, really. This new practice will bring about the awareness we need in real time to guide us to our true goals, and not have us guessing if we’re going to get what we want or not. We want to ensure neither of us will feel rejected or need to get defensive.

What we’re doing is deciphering which of the energies are adopted and/or limiting beliefs that we have to process out. Then we only have to support and nurture the energies that are our true desires. We are consciously and positively questioning who’s mirroring who, and what, to answer the why. And we’re just getting started!

For both Ken and I our self love and respect, and our love for each other remains a priority. Our fights were both of us saying no to what we didn’t want. And that meant fighting each other on some pretty hefty beliefs and energies. We’re creating new dynamics and a process that’s just for us. We’re actually creating our deepest desires together, for each other, and in a way thats growing each of us in the most special way. We are paving our path for true happiness, with Love.

Lisa Karasek is a Quantum Healer and Intuitive Practitioner able to powerfully transform your state of being by guiding you to a healthier, happier, and more purposeful life using ancient, multi-dimentional healing modalities, angelic energies, and consciousness based practices. Lisa is passionate and dedicated to helping you work with the dynamics of your Authentic Self Relationship.

Miracles happen in perspective shift – part 2

Sure, I’ve had boyfriends, lovers, long and short relationships. I learned and practiced what I wanted and didn’t with every one of them. Like looking for my ideal parents, I had to reach inside of me and create what I wanted.

Some believe we choose to incarnate when and where we do for purpose. We choose the people who will be in our lives before we’re even born because we have to create an experience to learn from. There are lessons and there are contracts. The lessons and contracts are set about to bring on the experiences and outcomes we desire, or need to fulfill.

I know my parents are who I chose because I needed them to help me go through everything I went through. They were a safe place to feel what I needed to, and provided the stability I needed while I went through it. And they helped me create the outcome of positive relationship and dynamic that I wanted. My soul was ready to release anger in order be a higher vibrational being, and step into the higher master that I really am. My parents were critical in that growth.

I’ve lived so many lives as a slave, as the abused and broken down. I was ready for more. I said NO to victimhood, and I said YES to a life of worth and deserving. I wasn’t able to meet Ken until I was ready to let go of victimhood. If I had met Ken still in that mindset we wouldn’t be the power couple that we are. I would have continued in patterns of self sabotage and misalignment. I had to learn my worth and feel good about myself before I could meet Ken. I had to be able to take care of myself before meeting Ken, or I would have fallen back into a pattern of being controlled, and not in control. I had to learn to love myself, want badly enough for myself before I was able to receive. Accepting myself, and being in trust, opened me up to allowing Ken into my life. To actualize the life of ease and flow I am ready for.

Ken had his fair share of experiences and had to say NO too. Like me, he was ready for the next big thing. Ken and I don’t have a perfect relationship, but we both know what we want and don’t. We each recognize where the misalignments are, and we both respect ourselves to the degree for which we need in order to say NO, and let go. We’re both strong enough to say YES to ourselves so that we can say yes to US. We’re walking on this journey together, supporting each other, helping each other grow. We have a partnership that we’re committed to.

We’ve each taken our personal healing journeys as far we could, and we were each ready to go deeper. We’re both ready to step fully into our power, and we each have the tools and resources the other needs – together we complete a range. With the commitment to growth and partnership we each posses, we pull those tools and resources, and together we’re creating something bigger than ourselves.

Lisa Karasek is a Quantum Healer and Intuitive Practitioner able to powerfully transform your state of being by guiding you to a healthier, happier, and more purposeful life using ancient, multi-dimentional healing modalities, angelic energies, and consciousness based practices. Lisa is passionate and dedicated to helping you work with the dynamics of your Authentic Self Relationship.

Miracles happen in perspective shift

I don’t really know how I ever became so angry. I’m not sure how anger became my default emotion. Everything always seemed to just irritate me. I found every reason for everything to make me want to blame.

I especially had a lot of anger towards my parents, and I took every opportunity to blame them for my shortcomings. They weren’t good enough. They weren’t intelligent enough. I was better than them. Their goals and ambitions seemed non-existent to me. I fought them on everything about them, especially on who they were. I needed relief from them. I needed saving.

This was all just a few years ago, not long ago at all. I feel totally different now. Yes, about them too.

I was given a second chance at being their daughter. I experienced a tragedy, and I needed a safe space to heal. I needed stability. I went home to them.

In the beginning I took a lot out on them. I was angry at my trauma and situation, and I screamed at them a lot. All the while I kept thinking I had to get out of that horrible place. I tried so hard. I took shit jobs and I tried to get back to my old ways. But that was harder than I thought it could be, and it surprised me. The anger turned, and I began putting everything on myself. I questioned What is wrong with you? Why can’t you … ? I was somehow at fault for everything, and I didn’t like it.

I believe everyone is responsible for their actions, so I pointed my finger at me. I started looking for the why behind everything I went through, and what was happening, and why I was where I was in life. This certainly wasn’t part of my plan. Without realizing it I slipped into a stage of transformational healing.

The slip forced me to slow down and choose to be still. What do you want? YOU have to make it happen.

I always wanted a mother, someone who took me in her arms and made me feel safe. My mom isn’t the cuddly type, she’s more of a tough love kinda mom. I had to learn to take care of myself in many ways from a very young age, which is probably how I adopted my responsibility and accountability belief. Ours wasn’t the type of household where we talked about our feelings, or what we were going through, it was more like we all just co-existed under one roof – each man for themselves. I never felt a sense of family. I didn’t understand what other people experienced in family. It’s probably safe to say now this is why I felt angry.

I really wanted a mom. I really needed a mom. And she was right down stairs and I didn’t feel comfortable going to her. Only this time instead of anger, I softened, and I cried instead.

I decided to hermit myself in my room. I decided we were going to just be cordial. I was in the house with them, and that was all I had at the time. My interactions were were short and brief, to the point.

I desperately wanted to feel like the person I knew I am inside, and I longed to feel happy. On no one day in particular, I started to engage with them. I had to try, practice even, and now I know what I was doing was teaching myself how to feel joy in small bursts. I didn’t realize it was joy at first, but the pleasure I was experiencing felt good. It wasn’t so bad after all. They seemed to open up a bit more, too.

I was carrying such a heavy energy that it consumed the whole house. I was the reason everyone and everything was so tense and felt nasty – Me! Am I for real that powerful? And once I shifted, they shifted too. This realization alone was a real eye opener. So I began to examine where my power lies, and what else I do with it.

Knowledge is Power and Everything is Energy. I studied this closely. Instead of believing all the opinions from others and thinking my parents were the worst in the world, I decided to find out for myself. I sat with them, did activities with them, and I observed. Not just them, but all of it. The whole of everything. The dynamic, who else, where else, why. And you know what? My parents are awesome people. I was only seeing them for who they are for the first time.

I could have thrown myself into guilt and shame, and taken on behaviors that tried to fix us. But instead I decided to wipe the slate clean and start from where we were. Instead of apologizing, I thanked them. I told them what we just did together felt awesome, that I liked it, and would like to do it again. I started to do things for them. I surprised them with gifts (tangible and sentimental) in appreciation. I celebrated them.

And I still do to this day. Now, we have great relationships. We enjoy each other. I feel like I’m part of a great family. And I let them know it.

As I found happiness and joy in life, I began focusing my next want on love. A few months later Ken came into my life.

… to be continued.

Lisa Karasek is a Quantum Healer and Intuitive Practitioner able to powerfully transform your state of being by guiding you to a healthier, happier, and more purposeful life using ancient, multi-dimentional healing modalities, angelic energies, and consciousness based practices. Lisa is passionate and dedicated to helping you work with the dynamics of your Authentic Self Relationship.

How shapeshifting equals love

stock image credit: Unsplash

Until about 3-4ish years ago I was thin. The kind of thin everyone envied and commented on. I was fit, I worked to keep my muscles lean and defined. I had small breasts so there wasn’t a real need for a bra. I was always comfortable in my body, and my clothes. I was a dancer growing up so I spent a lot of time in a dressing room, and it’s how I learned to be body conscious. My body was my temple. And I guess good genes afforded me the freedom to not have to worry. I didn’t have to work hard at being thin, I didn’t have to work at it at all, actually.

“Just wait and see, one day it will all catch up to you” everyone said. But I wasn’t worried. All I needed was a quick glance at the mirror and I knew I was good.

Now, I look down, and I observe closely – I have no choice but to see the thickness that I have become. My always a size 4-6 is now a size 14, at least. I am no longer flat, but round. I fill my clothes, especially my pants, and everything fits uncomfortably tight. I need a bra. I can hold my breasts and make them jiggle. The ONLY way I feel comfortable is in sweats and a baggy, loose top.

I met Ken while my body was shapeshifting; Urgh why couldn’t he have met me when I was hot, and when I felt sexy? Last year we drove across the country and that seemed to give my fat the green light to do as it pleased. When I stand in front of the mirror now and look at myself I turn side to side, and I look at everything. Even if I suck in, the girth of my waist is bigger than I ever imagined I would ever possibly be. I count the rolls in my sides. I feel my fullness in the tub. I lay down naked and I think about what he sees.

He never met the skinny me, so he accepts my body unconditionally. I want to see my body as he sees it. I try to soften in my judgements as I touch and study the new me. I remind myself what I went through, and that subconsciously I was trying to be invisible. I didn’t like my world then.

As I expand and grow, my body is too. There’s more for me to love. There’s more of me to want, and hold on to. All I have to do is agree. I’m learning to love me.

I am a certified eating psychology coach, helping people in their struggles with food and eating, and body image.

Lisa Karasek is a Quantum Healer and Intuitive Practitioner able to powerfully transform your state of being by guiding you to a healthier, happier, and more purposeful life using ancient, multi-dimentional healing modalities, angelic energies, and consciousness based practices. Lisa is passionate and dedicated to helping you work with the dynamics of your Authentic Self Relationship.

What’s Next?

I haven’t published anything big in a while. Recently I’ve been asking myself why.

I get it. This past year I have dealt with many adjustments. I met someone, and we embarked on a trip of a lifetime. Wound up completely upending and changing my life.

As I’m settling in my new home and space, I’m very anxious to get back to writing and publishing, and I’ve been struggling with it.

It just so happened that last week my writing coach from back home set up an online gig. She hasn’t offered anything by way of her coaching this past year because she’s had a lot of big and important changes happen in her life too. She lifted her students up to a new level, and now she’s ready to share the next steps. She’s getting back to us.

As per her usual, she guided us through a few writing exercises, and by the end of the hour it dawned on me why I haven’t been into my own writing. I’m changed!

Before, I was writing about my life changing experience, and how I was working so hard to heal. I wrote about healing wounds to feel the joy in life because that’s what I needed.

There’s something to be said for writing from the place of pain, about tapping into your emotional bucket and giving it a voice. I wrote from that bucket a lot, and I was able to release a lot of energy around it all through my writing.

For so long I lived in my heaviness.

The drive across the country, the break, was exactly what I needed to shift my energy. But it wasn’t until last week in that meeting that I realized my shift is complete. I no longer have to write about my tragedy. I am no longer a victim. I am a changed person.

I’m trying to get back into writing. I’m knocking out posts that are just bursts, bursts of information I want to share, and to be present. A few times I’ve jumped on Facebook and said “I’m ready.” “I’m going to write. Stay tuned.” “I’m coming.” Bless your hearts you’re tuning in. But I still havent been producing much, or anything that I feel is great or has transformational value.

What’s my next step?

I do know that I know how to tap into, draw in, and write a good story from my feelings. Now I get to do it from my new perspective. The life Ken & I are creating is so full of love and happiness, comfort, and peace. As I build my love, and create great moments, I will again write and share from my feelings.

Thank You for hanging in with me. I appreciate you.